"Ladder Climbing":SO MANY FUCKS, NONE TO GIVE

"You. Better. Climb."

So life is kinda alright...I got a million job offers, one of which I am retarded jazzed about, but cannot say where it is (but know that it will be pretty awesome). I'm going to just pick up shifts at ESL. I've managed to not emasculate any men this week..at least that I know of. I've started to really try to decorate my apartment. It's coming together fine. Got a new rug and a new table, so that's awesome. I'm not even going to touch my guy-situation. I just can't. All I can say is that this shit with {NR} feels as though it is never going to eenndddd. I can't even go into our dinner. It was fun until we stood out on the corner of 18th st. for an hour while he vacillated between wanting to be with me, not wanting to be with me, wanting to fuck me, but not thinking it's a good idea. I don't think he was too happy about being left on that corner at 2 am. That's just a mini update..nothing of import has occurred, besides snagging that awesome job, which I'm sure I'll get grilled about.."how'd you get it? who do you know?" I got called a "ladder climber" by a certain "man-about-town" a few months ago. I assume he meant "social climber". I really can't imagine what ladder I'd be climbing..what..hanging out at dive bars? That's ladder climbing? Being acquaintances with people that also go to those bars? I've fucked one person that barely even qualifies as running in that circle, and we were on the fast track to relationship-ville, so pray tell, what fucking ladder?! Anyway, my point is, I get good job offers because I make it my business to know people that may be able to save my ass at some point. Being a bartender is like being an independent contractor..or a mercenary. I need to network so that I can fucking feed myself if, say, my job unexpectedly closes, or I have had it up to the proverbial here with my spineless, asshole bosses sticking me with all of the work that my slacker coworkers abandon. If that's "ladder climbing", then so be it. I'll climb "ladders" all day. I don't go to bars expecting to be hooked up..I don't fuck bar owners for free tabs..I actually prefer to pay full price most of the time, because it's more economically sound. The amount of money that you don't have to pay for your drinks is double what you'll have to pay in tip..Don't get me wrong, if my friends are bartending, I'll throw money all night. But I also DO NOT mind a non-hookup. So yeah, if ladder climbing leads me to the apex of awesome jobs, yes fucking please.

"Don't You Have Shit To Do?": HATERS

This shit......

I went out the other night and had a blast with everyone from ESL. Our owner was DJing at Velvet and Casey was bartending. So much fucking fun. I met great people, and although two of my mortal enemies were there, I just ignored them and partied as hard as I could..funny enough, most of the people that I have issues with right now are men, which is weird, because I roll so hard with dudes..weird..anyway, after Velvet, my coworkers and I went to Brixton for after hours. I ran into this ass who trashed {NR} once. He said that he told {NR} that he was going to fuck things up with me, couldn't wait until he did, and he didn't deserve me. At first I thought that he was just trying to spare me from a bullet, since I was still in my hurt phase over "breaking up". Then I realized that he was fiercely jealous of {NR} and that he wished it was him fucking me. I wanted to go nuclear. I asked {NR} about what the guy had said last week, and he said he had no clue what he was talking about..I had gotten the details fucked up. Anyway, the guy stood firm in his stance on {NR}, which made me angrier and angrier. He had the audacity to say the he considered {NR} a friend! "You're not his friend," I said..if any of my friends trash talked me to a guy I was seeing, I would rage the fuck out. The night progressed into a passive aggressive standoff between he and I. After over-hearing him STILL shit talking {NR}, I conveniently and loudly let it be known that he had a huge cock and fucked like a beast. I always feel a bit bad after I do that, but I have had to defend this man so many times that I have to have a quip on hand or else I'll get tired of having to be witty. The asshole also called him a "civil war reject", which I have NO idea what it means...eventually I grew tired of fighting the urge to run up to the guy and punch him in his face, so I left. I told my cab driver the story, and he was thoroughly impressed by my sense of loyalty. I told him that {NR} and I are supposed to get dinner next week. He gave me his number and asked me to keep him updated on what happens. You know, I don't like having to rage out, but if there's one thing I hate, it's people that shit talk. I will call you on it every time..and to shit talk the guy that I like? REALLY?! And who cares if he was going to fuck it up?? Who gives a fuck if he would have cheated on me?? Just let us figure it out!! The guy couldn't live with {NR} dating (another) hot girl. And then he called him a loser..a loser...uhm, bitch {Redacted} and is {Redacted}...how is that being a loser? Whatever went down in his last relationship is of no fucking concern to me or anyone else. If dudes knew half the shit that I did in my last relationship and judged me for it, I'd never date again..I had another guy (notice that it's all guys that have massive amounts of shit to say about him..every girl that I've ever talked to about him has nothing but amazing things to say)..he said something about him being mean to two friends of his that he dated.."he wasn't mean to me..I was actually a dick to him.." The guy seemed shocked, but here's the thing..I'm one of the biggest assholes that you will ever meet and I will call you all the way out immediately. I like the fact that he has haters..it fits with the fact that I too have haters. I was telling my mother about all the shit going down and she said something pretty true, "you want haters. That means you're doing something right! No one hates on a loser..they may make fun of them, but they don't hate on them." I can't fight anymore. I am not going to entertain anymore shit talking from anyone in this town. The hate is so strong here, which I don't understand..this is not Raleigh, where there's nothing to do and the cost of living is low...D.C. is expensive as shit and a semi-difficult city to live in, so why stir drama..I just can't..I'm going to focus on work, health and fucking...I'm omitting everything else.