So something has been happening to me lately. I keep having sex dreams about Ryan Gosling. It's simultaneously arousing and exasperating. We never fuck!!! We never ever ever fuck in my dreams and it's getting very annoying. In one dream he was wearing nothing save for a red Speedo and I was rubbing him down with oil. Last night I had a dream that he was my high school teacher and he asked me to write an essay about interracial relationships, after heavy flirting, of course. So now I ask, why does he clit-tease me so? Tonight, we had better have stupid, sweaty sex. I want to wake up in the am and have to shower immediately. No more of this waking up with blue ovaries shit. I need the pseudo-real deal. My psyche needs rub one out material:
"Hey, girl. Yeah, I may let this guy fellate me and force him to swallow the sweet nectar of the gods that is my emission, but I'll be thinking of you the whole time."
I don't even fucking like blonds, but he does it for me in so many ways.
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